School holidays…. yes I do love them (we’ve especially loved grandad coming to stay!).
and I am SO loving this wee vid made by a man who is dear to my heart and featuring a wee man also dear to me.
Go here to see it – I can’t get it to link here for some weird reason!
It’s Friday and the weekend is coming, oh yes and a weekend with good things in it too
What has made you laugh this week? Go on tell me
For those who have been around blogging for a bit you will have seen wee vids on people’s blogs called vlogs (I guess verbal-blog??)
A vlog is generally a great way to ‘see’ and ‘hear’ the person behind the blog.
as a professional idiot (although no one pays me for it!) I’m not sure I’d do a vlog that would achieve anything other than make you worried about my mental and psychological state….
But I did speak at my church last night and one friend said to me afterwards, ‘it’s just you but at the front with a microphone’…. so if you’ve ever wondered about what I sound like or the kind of things I say with microphone in hand you can do it here.
And here is a photo so you can pretend I am doing a very long vlog!
All this year I have been making our bread by hand. 2 loaves at a time (if I have to knead I might as well do 2 at once!)
Usually the loaves contain wholemeal flour. Nothing beats the smell of homemade bread or that awesome flavour…..
But there is still a little place on my palate for rubbish-y white….I’m talking truly, the ‘white trash’ of the bread family. You know cheap, melts in your mouth, no crunching required. There’s a bit of me that still can’t resist a good peanut butter slathered, nasty white bread sandwich. (I may have eaten 2 today when I had to buy a quick loaf because we’d run out of homemade!)
What’s your dirty food secret? Not the whole packet of chocolate biscuits you ate watching ANTM or The Biggest Loser. I mean the thing you’re kind of ashamed to like because it’s totally un-cool.
I had a conversation with a friend this week about dreams, ambitions, goals…
In fact I seem to be having rather a few of these conversations lately – maybe it’s a season I’m coming into.
We talked about some stuff – stuff that makes me think:
1. Like when you think or talk about your dream is it all fantasy or are you putting some foundations to that stuff? Are you preparing for that moment when you get your chance, when you are discovered, when that door opens? Or are you wishing and dreaming without a plan? I am reminded of a story about a man by a healing pool, when the water stirred the first one in got healed. Jesus asked that man ‘Do you want to be healed?’ and he said ‘I can’t get into the pool first, I haven’t got any help’. Makes me think…. if he really wanted it could he have asked some friends? Could he have just lay on the side of the pool ready to roll in the moment the water stirred? He was lying in the area wanting it but was he making himself ready for his moment?
Action AND dreams – both needed.
2. Playing Small – I feel like this is an ultimate in our kiwi culture. Dreaming big looks arrogant. Dreaming big is the opposite of humility. I don’t believe either of these are true but I think they are a cultural norm for kiwis and because of this I’m sure many of us don’t achieve what we could. You know I actually think some of it is pride and fear – if we don’t try too hard and attempt great things then we won’t be embarrassed when we fail. If we don’t give it a try and fail splendidly then we can blame it all on never getting a chance, and anything else – kids, money, age, partner….. but not our own small approach.
Maybe we are afraid people will laugh at us, or assume things about us having ideas above our station.
3. A big journey for me is the thought there isn’t room – the world already has amazing actors, great presenters, gifted speakers… is there room for me? I think we can be held back by that old monster – comparison – that younger, better connected, richer, slimmer, (insert your thing here) woman is already out there doing it, so there is no room for me. Sound familiar?
4. Maybe we are just too tired, too worn down, too disappointed by life to believe in hope anymore. And if we are maybe it’s time to rest and recover and be at peace. Winter doesn’t last forever. Winter is a season and being in the middle of winter with no leaves doesn’t mean that a tree is a failure.
Maybe we are really afraid that we will be weighed in the scales and found wanting….
So what is holding you back from making your dream a step closer?
Are you brave enough to say what that thing is? To risk sharing it?
Will you take a step out of the boat onto the water? Are you dressed for it? Or are you sitting at home on the couch watching the guy step out of the water saying ‘I could do that if only I had a boat.’
No, it isn’t guaranteed. But what do you have to lose? And if that moment presents itself have you done all you can to be ready? And will you open your arms and embrace that beautiful moment or will you hang your head too proud or scared to take a risk?
Me? Well I’d like to be in front of people – all sorts of people. Talking, acting, inspiring, encouraging, bringing hope. I want to be a beacon. I want to shine my light a long way and I want to speak to thousands of people. And I’d like to walk my daily journey as a wise, kind, invested wife, mother and friend and see my boys grow into good men and see my marriage grow into a beautiful, encouraging, laughter-filled life-journey.
I’d like to be salt to season and light to encourage.
Am I trying to fill a gap or find some sense of meaning? No. Absolutely. No. I am already loved, accepted and blessed beyond belief.
Will it happen?
I’m not sure but the time is now for me to stop making excuses and to put my hand in the One I can trust to direct my steps.
If it doesn’t happen?
What have I lost? nothing that matters, but I have gained the satisfaction of investing in the seeds planted in me.
I will not have buried my talent, or dulled my light, I will not have let fear or shame dictate my journey. And, if nothing else that in itself is a success.
Who are you growing up to be? Are you brave enough to share?
This post is linking in with the lovely Widge who I am privileged to hold real conversations with sometimes.
ps – no one ran a marathon who didn’t get off the couch and venture outside, just saying.
currently unlikely to ever run a marathon, just saying that too.
I’m a compromiser. In day-to-day life I am a rule keeper, goodie-good type but when it comes to creative endeavour the rule-keeper in me keeps quiet and the rebel comes out to play.
I often find mid-recipe that in fact I don’t have all the required elements.
So I throw in something else or several something elses and ‘make it work’. This is probably why one infamous family member coined the innocent sounding enquiry ‘did you use a recipe for this?’
I do have certain friends who will leave the kitchen mid-recipe to buy the thyme or rosemary as I throw in some mixed herbs or some other herb that ‘might be similar’.
It is not superior food knowledge or a well-developed palate that gives me such abandon with carefully written and tasted recipes – no. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why I do this – laziness, over-confidence, lack of organisation, not caring, being prepared to eat most things, cooking for boys who are prone to add lemon-pepper or tomato sauce to everything….
Whatever it is I am sure it is why I am limited to what I shall affectionately call – ‘low-brow’ cooking. It’s hard to throw in a compromise when the recipe has ingredients you’ve never heard of and you aren’t sure if they are a herb and liqueur or some fancy Italian sausage.
It’s the same kind of thing that holds me back from making jam and bottling fruit - if I can’t even be exact about following a recipe can I really trust my ability to sterilise the jars correctly. And what about pectin????
As you can see I have my quirks. So what about you will you get into a compromising situation in the kitchen or do your morals and ethics ensure a perfectly executed dish with a proper balance of flavours every time?