I had a conversation with a friend this week about dreams, ambitions, goals…
In fact I seem to be having rather a few of these conversations lately – maybe it’s a season I’m coming into.
We talked about some stuff – stuff that makes me think:
1. Like when you think or talk about your dream is it all fantasy or are you putting some foundations to that stuff? Are you preparing for that moment when you get your chance, when you are discovered, when that door opens? Or are you wishing and dreaming without a plan? I am reminded of a story about a man by a healing pool, when the water stirred the first one in got healed. Jesus asked that man ‘Do you want to be healed?’ and he said ‘I can’t get into the pool first, I haven’t got any help’. Makes me think…. if he really wanted it could he have asked some friends? Could he have just lay on the side of the pool ready to roll in the moment the water stirred? He was lying in the area wanting it but was he making himself ready for his moment?
Action AND dreams – both needed.
2. Playing Small – I feel like this is an ultimate in our kiwi culture. Dreaming big looks arrogant. Dreaming big is the opposite of humility. I don’t believe either of these are true but I think they are a cultural norm for kiwis and because of this I’m sure many of us don’t achieve what we could. You know I actually think some of it is pride and fear – if we don’t try too hard and attempt great things then we won’t be embarrassed when we fail. If we don’t give it a try and fail splendidly then we can blame it all on never getting a chance, and anything else – kids, money, age, partner….. but not our own small approach.
Maybe we are afraid people will laugh at us, or assume things about us having ideas above our station.
3. A big journey for me is the thought there isn’t room – the world already has amazing actors, great presenters, gifted speakers… is there room for me? I think we can be held back by that old monster – comparison – that younger, better connected, richer, slimmer, (insert your thing here) woman is already out there doing it, so there is no room for me. Sound familiar?
4. Maybe we are just too tired, too worn down, too disappointed by life to believe in hope anymore. And if we are maybe it’s time to rest and recover and be at peace. Winter doesn’t last forever. Winter is a season and being in the middle of winter with no leaves doesn’t mean that a tree is a failure.
Maybe we are really afraid that we will be weighed in the scales and found wanting….
So what is holding you back from making your dream a step closer?
Are you brave enough to say what that thing is? To risk sharing it?
Will you take a step out of the boat onto the water? Are you dressed for it? Or are you sitting at home on the couch watching the guy step out of the water saying ‘I could do that if only I had a boat.’
No, it isn’t guaranteed. But what do you have to lose? And if that moment presents itself have you done all you can to be ready? And will you open your arms and embrace that beautiful moment or will you hang your head too proud or scared to take a risk?
Me? Well I’d like to be in front of people – all sorts of people. Talking, acting, inspiring, encouraging, bringing hope. I want to be a beacon. I want to shine my light a long way and I want to speak to thousands of people. And I’d like to walk my daily journey as a wise, kind, invested wife, mother and friend and see my boys grow into good men and see my marriage grow into a beautiful, encouraging, laughter-filled life-journey.
I’d like to be salt to season and light to encourage.
Am I trying to fill a gap or find some sense of meaning? No. Absolutely. No. I am already loved, accepted and blessed beyond belief.
Will it happen?
I’m not sure but the time is now for me to stop making excuses and to put my hand in the One I can trust to direct my steps.
If it doesn’t happen?
What have I lost? nothing that matters, but I have gained the satisfaction of investing in the seeds planted in me.
I will not have buried my talent, or dulled my light, I will not have let fear or shame dictate my journey. And, if nothing else that in itself is a success.
Who are you growing up to be? Are you brave enough to share?
This post is linking in with the lovely Widge who I am privileged to hold real conversations with sometimes.
ps – no one ran a marathon who didn’t get off the couch and venture outside, just saying.
currently unlikely to ever run a marathon, just saying that too.